Return to the Self: The Wolf, the Sheep and the Shepherd

I’m dictating this post as I drive south on I-95 at 7:32 a.m., headed to my first appointments of the day. A later start than usual, since my standing 6 a.m. client is out of town. That meant something rare: a full eight hours of sleep.

My WHOOP data tells me yesterday was “a stressful day.” Without that feedback, I probably would have dismissed today’s feeling of lethargy as “tired from too much sleep.” However, the activities of the previous day play a greater impact on our lives than we realize.

Here’s what actually happened:

• Afternoon: My family and I jumped into an impromptu sandcastle competition at Fairfield Beach. We dug feverishly in the sand under the direct rays of the sun for several hours.Three glasses of vodka-spiked iced tea came along for the ride.

• Evening: Fueled by momentum and my desire to absolve my transgressions with alcohol, I pushed my weighted sled, did heavy farmer’s carries, and finished with barbell thrusters—capping it with a heavy set of five.

According to WHOOP, the combination of alcohol, activity, and physical strain stacked into a “high stress day”. So yes, today, I feel it. Yet—these were all choices I made as I attempted to fully immerse myslef in life.

The Wolf and the Sheep

Upon reflection I was reminded of an ancient parable whose origins can be found in multiple cultures:

Inside each of us lives both a wolf and a sheep.

• The wolf is our physical, animal side: hunger, thirst, sleep, physical pleasure, the demands of the body.

  The wolf must be fed.

• The sheep is our emotional side: the need for the flock, the longing for safety, order, connection, belonging.

  The sheep must be protected.

To succeed, we can’t live as sheep among wolves. But we also can’t feed the sheep to the wolf. Within this duality, both must coexist.

Take alcohol as an example. At the beach, it felt like the wolf and the sheep both “needed” it—the wolf for physical relaxation, the sheep for social ease. But afterward, I questioned whether that choice stressed body and mind more than it helped. This is the ongoing tension many of us face: the desire to unwind, the lure of short-term relief, and the long-term cost.

Becoming the Shepherd

So who manages the wolf and the sheep?

The shepherd — the role we must learn to play in our own lives.

And here’s the most practical tool I know for doing it: breathwork.

Deep, intentional breathing calms the wolf’s fight and quiets the sheep’s fear. It’s a biological fact that deep breathing down-regulates the sympathetic nervous system and activates the parasympathetic nervous system—rest, digest, restore.

The Triple Level Inhale Technique

Try this right now (can be done standing or sitting):

• (Level 1) Inhale slowly through your nose into your belly. Feel your diaphragm press down, your abdomen expand.

• (Level 2) Continue to inhale until you feel pressure fill your belly.

• (Level 3) Open your mouth and keep inhaling, your chest will rise as you fully fill the upper third of your lungs.

• Hold for four seconds.

• Release fully, quickly and gently through your mouth — like air falling out of a balloon. Let your shoulders drop. Feel a wave of relaxation wash through your body.

That’s it. Simple. Powerful. The kind of practice that should be taught to every child as soon as they can understand that they need to take charge of both mind and body.

Because too often in our society, we live with the wolf ready to fight and the sheep ready to run—always on edge.

The more often you can return yourself to parasympathetic mode, the more often you reclaim your role as shepherd.

Takeaway:

Feed the wolf. Protect the sheep.

But never forget—you are the shepherd.