Getting Messy Again
I listened to a podcast yesterday—Scott Galloway interviewing psychotherapist Esther Perel—and it hit directly on what I’ve been wrestling with lately.
Esther made a sharp observation: one of her pillars of relationship health is resisting the atrophy of skill in human connection.
Because here’s the problem:
We spend so much of our lives inside sterile technological interfaces that we’re losing our ability to handle messy, real, unpredictable relationships.
And that’s a problem not just for us—it’s even tougher on our kids.
They’ve grown up in a world of swipes and curated profiles, where you don’t have to fail in front of someone, make a mistake, or struggle to resolve conflict. They’re missing the hard lessons that teach resilience, empathy, and growth.
Why Hard Is Good
Scott added something else that stuck: he’s grateful for his financial success, but what he really values is the work it took to get there.
Without the struggle, there’s no appreciation.
And that’s true of relationships too.
Partnerships, friendships, marriages—they become valuable because of the time and effort invested. They’re not apps you turn on and off. They’re not instant decisions swiped left or right.
They’re built slowly, with mistakes and repair, with patience and persistence.
The Messy Work of Being Human
Some of the best parts of life come out of the mess:
The argument that turns into a breakthrough.
The setback that forces you to grow.
The friendship tested and strengthened by time.
But we need spaces where that can actually happen.
Spaces not dominated by screens.
Some Solutions
Carve out tech-free time with friends and family. Let presence—not distraction—be the focus.
Spend time in nature. Nature has no notifications, only feedback.
Treat relationships like training. They require effort, reps, and recovery.
The goal isn’t to reject technology—it’s to leverage it for freedom while doubling down on the raw, messy, human stuff that makes life worth living.
Because excellence and greatness aren’t born in sterile environments. They’re forged in the fire of imperfection, difficulty, and time.
That’s where the real growth is.
